Confession

This is what needs to be said. I need to tell my side of the story, before someone else tells it for me. I know some people might not believe me, or might view me in a negative light. But whatever it is, just let it go and view my situation from an unbiased and unopinionated view. Also... This may be a bit pathetic, but if you see any random words in here that don't look like they fit, blame my son of a birch autocorrect.

This story goes back a long way. It'll reflect on my time with several members, some of whom's identity will be not mentioned.

This all started when I was new to my job. I know, I'm still pretty new, but then I was confused and inexperienced.
Let's start it at the point of Phoenix's art theft. I found out by talking to a non staff W-H member. Yeah, just because I'm staff doesn't mean I'm always the first to know. Well, I assume you all felt pretty miffed when you found out. I certainly was. Phoenix was my superior, I respected her and thought she did her job pretty damn good. It's a shame that she had stolen art work.. Her thievery was the beginning of the drama, for me.

Not long after this, I got a message from Wahya asking me if there was a particular reason for Her not being a staff member anymore. I honestly didn't know if there was a particular reason, and I told her this. She then aske me if I knew who Vectias was. Vectias? I inquired, Who is this? Wahya told me it was the new admin. This certainly got my attention. I went to my convenient little Moderator panel and searched Vectias. It listed her as a side account of Aeralie. I did a double take... WTF. When did this happen, I wondered. I went and told Cori, and she looked up Vectias herself, only to tell me that Vectias was not listed as Aeralie's side account. Confused, I went and and checked again. Cori was right, for some reason, Vectias was no longer listed as Aer's side. Now ad any normal person would be, I was suspicious and curious.

So I went to Stormgaze.

He told me what had happened... But I'm sure that all of you know how Storm always twists around information to manipulate it into something it's not.
He started on about a group of people on msn who gathered and conspired against Wolf-Haven. How they dissed people on the website, dissed packs, listed people on their little hit list, and how they were going to make thier own website to compete with Wolf-Haven. I won't list to you who these members were, but I'm sure if you guess than you'll have a pretty good idea. So, this msn group eventually got busted by Aer, who was working somewhat as a double agent and showing Karlos their chat logs. An in the end how they put the blame on one member in their group when they got caught.
The way Storm relayed the info to me, he portrayed Aeralie as some sort of criminal that only told to snag an admin position, Karlos as some greedy person who would do anything for money.
I was literally torn. Which side to take? Who was right, who was wrong? I didn't know who to trust, it seemed like everyone ha turned into some sleazey person right then and there.

Angrily, I went to confront Aeralie, who I viewed as a criminal at that point. I was such a fool.. I shouldn't have trusted just what Stormgaze had to tell me. But I was so mixed up ad blinded by anger and I ultimately felt /betrayed/ by her, in a way. I thought I could trust her.. She was my friend who started out my modding position with, and she and I were the only two left. So, being the fool I was, I started an arguement with her. How wrong I was... Urgh, I still feel like an asshole for this.
But anyway, we quarreled and when it ended I felt even more confused than before. I needed to set things straight, I needed people who I could trust. Literally, almost everyone seemed like some sort criminal.

So I started an msn chat with people I knew I could trust. I'm keeping their identities a secret, all except for Zanna. She had been someone who I trusted the most. We had started. Chat over a different website about who the hacker might be, and I told her about how my Mod position was treating me. So naturally I told her and the other people about what happened and I explained how confused I was. I know I shouldn't have talked about it to them... I regret it now.

A long time went by. A long, long time in which I still believed everything Storm told me.

Until I talked to Karlos, who told me his point of view without me having to explain my own. He told me how /he/ hadn't known who to trust, and how Aer was the only one whom he could trust. He told me many things; most of it I cannot repeat /ever/.
I realized how wrong I was to jump to assumptions. How wrong I was to attack someone who wa only trying to protect WH's wellbeing.


And.. Here I am. I confess to my side, I confess to what I have done. It was wrong of me... But I needed to tell my side before someone else did it for me.

Whatever repercussions result because of this... I'm sorry and I regret this. WH is my home. If I get kicked from my position, muted, or whatever happens, I will accept it and I love everyone on WH. Please forgive me.

To you, to all of you, to Zanna, who I attacked on msn when I was fuckin high, angry, and not I the right state of mind.

I'm sorry. And I love all of you.

My Opinion...

... Deal with it. I've decided to join the bandwagon.

Whatever I post in this blog is nothing more and nothing less than my own personal thoughts, opinions, and feelings. So if you don't like what I have to say, then GTFO.